The Dumbest Client I Ever Had

She was a REALTOR. A very good one, actually. She was also my client. One morning, while she was driving one of her favorite neighborhoods looking for new listings, she came across a house. A very nice house. And, it was for sale.

Within an hour she had made an appointment to see it. By noon I was writing the contract for her. It was a full price offer. She was so taken with the house that there wasn't really any way to talk sense into her about offering even just a little less. This, even though the listing said straight out, "Seller will consider all offers" which of course is REALTOR code talk for, "Seller is really, really, really desperate."

Much to my client's glee, the seller accepted the offer the same day. It was a short contract, so I got to work coordinating the lender, home inspector, geologist, title company, and movers. When the handsome home inspector couldn't keep his appointment, she foolishly brushed it off. "I'm sure the house is fine" she excitedly declared to all her friends. Oy.

The house closed and she moved in on a sweltering August day. She immediately discovered that the air-conditioning didn't work, the garage door wouldn't close, the light switches did not operate any known light fixtures, the sprinkler system was hard wired into a socket in the basement ceiling, the appliances weren't green tagged, the back door would not open, the roof leaked at the skylights, the hot water heater wouldn't stay lit, one side of the driveway was 3 inches lower than the other, and her daughter had an encounter with an enormous hobo spider named Joe who was none too happy with the new occupants.

You might be wondering how I know this. I know because only a fool has themselves for a client. Yup, my client was me. Due to buyer infatuation and various other buyer stupidities, I broke rules that I would never, ever, EVER let my clients break! Dum-BO.

The moral of this story is (everybody say it together): always get a home inspection when buying a home!

(By the way, I still like the house. I've actually become very handy because of it. That's it, up there in the corner. :-)

Jennifer Bunker, CRS, GRI
Utah Real Estate Broker